Can I get my life back, please?

Can't believe the last time i updated here was like 2 months plus back... and it was about America's next top model Cycle 11, and the whole 13 episodes was released and completed... I've watched them all but did not manage to write a single thing here... it's it because my time management is that bad? Or is it because I've so much to do, this is not my priority? sigh.. Anyways, McKey won for cycle 11, and yes, she deserves this win.

My cousin sis gave birth to baby boy few days back... baby have not been discharged yet... can't wait for the family's new addition to come home so i can go introduce myself to him :D 4th aunt is here to take care of both mother and baby during the confinement period until full moon.. oh yea... they are staying exactly below my unit, so i can go see him anytime, if i manage to leave work early....

I've gone to few places to dine lately, but have not manage to post anything so far, even on facebook. My connection is crawling like an injured tortoise. sheesh~ let me see....
-my rasa sayang buffet pics are not posted yet and that was before my trip to HKG...
-my induction photos back in June is not uploaded...
-my outing with my ex colleagues also not posted
-chin chin's bday at friday's is also not uploaded (oh ya.. chin chin left the company already 2 weeks back)..
-goh's bday dinner also not uploaded.. sorry goh.. i think i'll just send u the photos instead of you waiting for me to upload cos i'll take ages....
-cluedo sessions not posted..
-punitha's deepavali open house
-savun's and chin chin's farewell (yes.. a lot of farewells lately)
-dining session at Kocha (Taiwanese restaurant), Island red cafe, Ingolf Kneipe (German restaurant), Tai Tong Dim Sum @ night... which was not that good after all, Shanghai Ding (ok, this very obvious is Shanghainese restaurant.. also not very good only), Vintage Bulgaria (Bulgarian cuisine with a very nice ambiance)... not sure if I've left out anything..
wow.... if i were to blog on all this.. i would need to take a week off, lock myself in my room and just write... which is of course impossible... hahaha....

work wise.. well, it's not as fun and motivating as i thought it was before... it has gone to a stage where i don't feel i can fully trust anyone anymore, i see people leaving the organization, people get really distraught with their daily tasks, some highly rewarded for doing nothing much (i keep telling myself it's their luck and market adjustment [market adjustment my foot...at that point of time?? when it's near to recession??? gosh.. ok ok...breathe in.. breathe out...] just to balance up the disappointment you see) it's never fair i know... sickening.. yes... demotivating.. hell yea!! now i do not know why am i working so hard all this while... to get myself rewarded or to get someone else rewarded? i've failed bad time on one of my this year's resolution. TO GO HOME AS OFTEN AS I CAN TO SPEND TIME WITH PARENTS AND FAMILY... i let my bloody job get in the way..... i don't even have much time spend with my little boy which is staying with me here cos i am just too tired after work and i can only manage to bring him for a walk in middle of the night and hit the bed straight.... i wake up to work every day, and sometimes come home at a time most normal working people might have gone to bed.... i have a very imbalanced lifestyle.... work and work and work... that even i'm so tired on weekends, i will go to office and will definitely still go out just because i'm trying to balance up or at least, light my poor life a little with things which is not related to my work and see more of the world like what I've used to do.... have a little fun at least.. i try to squeeze in entertainment and other activities... but this in the end pretty much drained me up...

i have another colleague whch is more hebat than me though... she is always the first to arrive in the office and most of the time, the last to leave (when i say last to leave, i mean really last sometimes up to 1am).... with a daughter and mother to take care of, i seriously do not know how she juggle her lifestyle.... cos her life also revolves around her daily tasks only... she told me sometimes she do not even have time to talk to her daughter for days although living under the same roof. life is tough and unfair huh....

a lot of things actually still disturbing me, just not very convenient to voice it out here.. haha...i'll tell my little boy dog about it instead... i went to pay my bills today... went to kuan yin's (Goddess of Mercy) temple for prayers and blessings... met Shaun who happen to be there.. jokingly asked him if things are going well for him, hehe.. and he answered that good or bad also can to come.. good come to thank and not good is for blessing... very true and correct... it would be best to go for prayers not because of any specific reasons then only you go... must be sincere at all times and i guess this applies to our daily life as a human being... but these days, i noticed that many have forget their roots and would kill and betray to achieve and get what they want.. be it materialistic, selfish or greed... it's sad to see that they even betrayed their old self wanting to a new self... or it is because they are like this all along... just waiting for the time to strike and show true colours... only they know, God knows...

went to the jelutong beach side... not exactly beach la.. it's a new housing area with a waterfront promenade kinda thing, something like gurney drive's, and it has great view of the penang bridge.. just to get fresh air and clear my mind off everything for a while at least.. the new houses are also very pretty..... then went to pay my bill in bayan baru and guess what, i, for the first time in history, left my credit card at the machine after i've completed my payment and left... and i'm very lucky today that the person who found my card, Mr Ong called the card centre and requested them to block my card. The bank called me 10 minutes after I left to inform the incident and advised will cancel this card off and sent me a new one. I tried to call this Mr Ong but he did not answer, so i just send him a thank u sms instead. you are a good person!

thinking of work tomorrow.... not very excited or motivated about it... am i losing interest? or is it because have i lost faith and trust....... i don't know.... maybe God knows... i just want to get my life back....